1. Enlist the help of a clergy member or counselor. They may be able to offer ideas on how to get your kids interested in spirituality as well.

2. Place your child’s spiritual needs before your own when trying to find a faith community. You may desire a quiet and reflective religious service, but your child may not. Find somewhere to worship that meets your child’s faith needs as well as your own.

3. Find ways to communicate through your child’s interests. Example: If you know your child likes music, you may not like the fact that he or she raps. Be open to the fact that this is your child’s interest right now. Show an interest yourself and let your child communicate with you through that interest. Eventually, you can explore other aspects of music, including spiritual music, with your child. Encouraging their giftedness will build your relationship exponentially.

4. Develop your own interest areas as well. As a parent, your talents are gifts from your creator too and are meant for His purpose. If you are passionate about something you do, do it in service to others and God to lead by example.

5. Give your child the freedom to find their own personal relationship with God. A good way to start is to ask your children questions about what they got out of a worship service or other experience. The trick is to not criticize or find fault with the response. A parent may explain their own experience but they must truly value, appreciate, and be thankful for the child’s response. Be curious and ask instead of disagreeing or entering into a debate.

6. Share your feelings with your child. Both parents and their children have many things in common. Sometimes we as parents feel that we have to hide and contain our feelings from our children because we are afraid they will see and sense our weaknesses. We must help our children understand that feelings are important, not right or wrong. To help them believe this statement, we must share with them our feelings; maybe talk to them about what we were experiencing when we were their age. Remember that they can hardly imagine us being any age other than what we are at now. When we talk about having the same feelings, we reinforce our connectedness as human beings.

*Developed from the strength-based, positive peer culture utilized by Starr Commonwealth, a private, not-for-profit organization that has served troubled children and their families for more than 90 years. For more information on Starr Commonwealth, call (800) 837-5581 or visit their Web site at www.starr.org.